This column was authored by the executive director of the Meadows Institute’s Trauma and Grief Center, Julie Kaplow, PhD and was published in Psychology Today on January 15, 2025.
Grief doesn’t begin only after the death of a loved one.
If a loved one is diagnosed with a terminal disease such as stage 4 cancer, is entering hospice, or is diagnosed with a progressive disease like Alzheimer’s disease, it is normal to experience the same feelings of intense sadness, fear, or even guilt that we often feel after someone close to us has died.
This phenomenon is called “anticipatory grief,” the clinical term for grief that begins as we await the death of a loved one, and it is experienced by both adults and children.
Children in the same family may experience the news of an impending death in different ways. A child’s anticipatory grief may include worries about how much they will miss their loved one, fear that they won’t be able live without that person, or a preoccupation with the circumstances of how the death will occur and if their loved one will suffer.
Grief is a natural part of life, and anticipatory grief is a normal, and generally adaptive, means of preparing ourselves for the loss of someone we care about. However, there are things that caregivers, parents, and other caring adults can do and say to help mitigate the painful aspects of anticipatory grief and set children up to fare better in the long run.
Read the full column in Psychology Today.
